Things To Do On The Weekend

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Lyrics

Invite a gorilla around for a snack
Run with an ostrich perched on your back
Sing with a chicken sitting on your head
Sleep with a kangaroo beside you in bed
Lift up your father, hang him from the ceiling
Then ask him sweetly, "How are you feeling?"
Take your pet rock on a trip to the zoo
Then think up some more things while sitting on the loo!

Thelma Brown

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Lyrics

CHORUS
Thelma Brown lived in a zoo
There were cows in her kitchen and roosters on view
Dogs in her dining room, cats in there too
And a husband called Cedric and a big kangaroo.

Ev’ry morn at six o’clock sharp
Thelma Brown arose in the dark
Cats and dogs, roosters and crows, kangaroos to attend
And a husband called Cedric who was going round the bend

CHORUS

Every night at half after nine
Cedric would say, “Oh dear its about my bedtime”
And every morn he’d awake with a snore
With the kangaroo in bed, and him on the floor!

CHORUS

One day Thelma brought home a giraffe
Cedric well he just broke down and laughed.
“Thelma dear, there’s no room in our zoo”
“But Cedric” she said, “how ‘bout the loo?”

CHORUS

What can you say, what can you do
When you live with a wife, who lives in a zoo?
Well you can’t make a fuss, you can’t even complain
Cos if you do you just end up out in the rain.

Thelma Brown lived in a zoo
There were cows in her kitchen and roosters on view
Dogs in her dining room, cats in there too
And a husband called Cedric who’s about to shoot through!

Oscar and Mr Hairy Gorilla

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Lyrics

Oscar was a rhinoceros who loved to have tea
With Mr Hairy Gorilla down at the local zoo
They gobbled down bananas and lots of strawberry icecream
And polly waffles and caramel cake
And chips and buns and creamy puffs
And chocolate crackles and coconut roughs
And jelly beans and apple pies
And twenty one pieces of pizza
And finished off with a milkshake
And then they felt sick!!