Standing In The Shower

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Lyrics

CHORUS
Standing in the shower at twenty past the hour
It's nice to just get very very wet
Twice every day it's the only way
You know what I mean, I love to be - clean

Shower in the morning, shower at night
Every time it feels so right
My wife uses gel, I prefer soap
She asks me to change, but I know I couldn't cope
There's nothing like a shower just before you go to bed

CHORUS

I wake up in the morning, make a cup of tea
One slice of toast it's enough for me
Put on my running shorts, then out the front door
I don't run far sometimes less can be more
But when I get back home I am so happy just to be

CHORUS

I've tried going to bed, knowing I was clean
But can't seem to relax, if you know what I mean
I lie there in the dark awake and feeling tense
I don't understand, it doesn't make sense
But obsessions never do, they're neither sensible nor logical

CHORUS

CHORUS
Standing in the shower, at twenty past the hour
It's nice to just get, very very wet
Twice every day, it's the only way
We know what he means
He loves to be (he loves to be)
He loves to be (he loves to be)
He loves to be – clean!!

Take a Bath

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Lyrics

Tell me now, when did you last take a bath?
Yesterday? The day before? The day before that?
You can’t remember can you?
Listen now, dirt is a very bad thing?
I know for sure your Mum and Dad
Will be so pleased
When you are sparkling clean

CHORUS
So don’t forget to wash your face and
Scrub behind your ears
Underneath your arms as well and
Round behind your neck
Scrub your tummy and your back
Your ankles and your knees
And when you’ve finished don’t forget
To pull the plug out please

Did you know, I have a friend called Jim
Who hasn’t had a single bath for 26 days?
Nobody goes near him – Ughh!
But yesterday, Jim’s mother called me on the phone
And she said, ‘You’ll never guess who’s in the bath
And squeaky clean?
Let’s give a cheer for Jim – HOORAY!
His mother said –

CHORUS
Thankyou very much

Down In The Bathroom

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Lyrics

Down in the bathroom he looks so sad
His friends say, ‘Aw come on cheer up, it’s not that bad’
You’ve had a good life you’ve had your day
But now it’s time to be thrown away

How could they do this, do this to him?
You don’t put your friends in the rubbish bin
He has his feelings, he has his pride
It’s enough to make you break down and cry

CHORUS
He’s a really nice toothbrush (echo)
Luverly toothbrush (echo)
Hard working tooth brush (echo)
Friendly old toothbrush (echo)
So how can you possibly throw him away?

I know he looks shaggy, I know he looks tired
But he can still do the job, he doesn’t need to be fired
He’ll brush off your plaque at the end of a day
So please don’t throw, don’t throw him away

CHORUS

His bristles may be worn, his head may be scarred
But you won’t find another who will work quite so hard
So throw away your toothpaste, try another brand
But don’t discard a friend, he just won’t understand

CHORUS (repeated)