How Many Noses On Your Face?
Lyrics
How many noses on your face?
Only one, there’s only one
How many hands on the kitchen clock?
Precisely two, how do you do?
And how many bedrooms in your house?
I think there are three, but let me go and see
How many wheels on your big white car?
Exactly four, and not any more
How many tootsypegs on your foot?
I’ve looked and I’ve, counted up to five
How many pussy cats in the sun?
I think there are six, sleeping on the bricks
How many apples on the apple tree?
Exactly seven, less than eleven
And how many kookaburras can you see?
I think there are eight, sitting on the gate
How many clouds are in the sky?
I’ve counted up to nine, the weather is fine
How many magpies on your lawn?
I think there are ten, but let me count again
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Elizabeth
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Lyrics
She was not looking well, lolling listlessly round the aquarium
I said to myself – don’t panic.
Fish are like that, they have bad days just like all of us
Still I couldn’t concentrate on my work
Just thinking about – Elizabeth
Was she in pain, had her fish friend left her
Swum off to some far flung corner of – the aquarium
My heart went out to her, I longed to pluck her from the water
And offer my heartfelt sympathy but a voice within me said
That was not a desirable course of action with – regard to fish
So I took her to the vet, he prescribed a course of antibiotics
Elizabeth did not seem impressed
The vet looked at me with an expression which seemed to say
This is an – extremely foolish song.
I took the hint – and stopped.
Walk Down The Street
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Lyrics
Chorus
Walk down the street – hey man cool
Do the Donald Duck in the pool
Everybody holds the fingers on the nose
Then they slap, clap, snap, sneeze – ah choo!
Here’s a little game, it doesn’t have a name
Would you like to play?
Jump on a cow, follow me now
And right away
Down to the shed. Stand on your head
Then I suggest you beat your chest
The look at me and do the things I do.
Chorus
Have a cup of tea sitting in a tree
Very nice
And if you want to sing God save the King
Jolly good, super
Jump to the floor, swing on the door
Then I suggest you beat your chest
The look at me and do the things I do.
Chorus
Jump on your broom fly to Saskatoon
You really should
You can be a groover, fly to Vancouver
Lovely place.
And when you touch down, back on the ground
Then I suggest you beat your chest
The look at me and do the things I do.
Chorus
My Toothbrush Won’t Clean
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Lyrics
My toothbrush won’t clean o dear Mrs Green
Throw it away, throw it away
My cheese it won’t grill o dear Mrs Pill
Turn up the heat, turn up the heat.
Chorus
And don’t be sad, its not that bad
Tomorrow will be better.
My peach it won’t squash o dear Mrs Posh
Throw it down, throw it down.
My tummy won’t tickle o dear Mrs Pickle
Give it a poke, give it a poke.
Chorus
My hair it won’t grow o dear Mrs Snow
Buy a new wig, buy a new wig.
My eggs will not scramble o dear Mrs Campbell
Try them fried, tried them fried.
Chorus
My telephone won’t ring o dear Mrs Ding
Then get it mended that would be splendid.
My head it won’t spin o dear Mrs Pin.
Take it off, take it off
“I have” said Mrs Pin, “but now I can’t find it.”
Oh ... well when you find your head this time
Just place a smile upon your dial
No don’t be sad it’s not that bad
Tomorrow will be better.
Made Ya Look Ya Dirty Chook
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Lyrics
Ping pong ball in the vegemite
Take a look and see, see if I’m right
Chorus
Made ya look ya dirty chook
Made ya look ya dirty chook
Big fat frog under the bed
One little hop he’s sitting on your head.
Chorus
Red back spider combing his hair
Watching playschool, sitting on a chair
Chorus
Pink kangaroo in the apricot tree
You can’t really miss him he’s easy to see.
Happy As Larry
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If you snap your fingers with a (snap snap snap)
And you slap your knees with a (slap slap slap)
If you stamp your feet with a (stamp stamp stamp)
And you blink your eyes with a (blink blink blink)
CHORUS
You’ll be good as new, you’ll be right as rain
You’ll be happy as Larry, happy as Larry
If you clap your hands with a (clap clap clap)
And you click your tongue with a (click click click)
If you ring on the phone with a (ddt ddt)
And you whisper a secret with a (pss pss pss)
CHORUS
If you swing on a swing that goes (swanee whistle up)
Then you swing on a swing that goes (swanee whistle down)
If you sip lemonade with a (slurp slurp slurp)
And you make a big sound like a (booing booing)
CHORUS
If you drive in a car with a (vrooom vrooom)
Then you put on the brakes with a (screech)
If you fly like Superman with a (pshhh)
And you ride in a train with a (choo choo choo)
CHORUS
Good as new, right as rain
Happy as Larry, happy as Larry…
Dr McKew
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Lyrics
CHORUS
Dr McKew what will you do
If your billygoat won’t eat stew?
I will give him cheesecake (he will give him cheesecake)
Twice every day but
CHORUS
I will give him cheesecake (he will give him cheesecake)
I will give him creampuffs (he will give him creampuffs)
Twice every day but
CHORUS
I will give him cheesecake (he will give him cheesecake)
I will give him creampuffs (he will give him creampuffs)
I will give him popcorn (he will give him popcorn)
Twice every day but
CHORUS
I will give him cheesecake (he will give him cheesecake)
I will give him creampuffs (he will give him creampuffs)
I will give him popcorn (he will give him popcorn)
I will give him jellybeans (he will give him jellybeans)
Twice every day but
CHORUS
ENDING (spoken)
Put him on a diet and then trade him in for a new one!
The Walking Song
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Lyrics
CHORUS
Some people walk with a wiggle and a woggle and
Some people walk with a bend in the middle and
Some people walk with their toes turning in and
Other people walk with their bottoms sticking out
One pussy cat meiows like another cat
One puppy doggy barks like another dog
But when it comes to people I know
Some walk fast and some walk slow –
But no-one walks the same ‘cos
CHORUS
Two ladies may have curly moustaches
Two men may both have false teeth and glasses
Two boys may sing sweet songs in a choir
Two girls may jump and one may jump higher –
But no-one walks the same ‘cos
CHORUS
One hairy leg looks just like another leg
One scrambled egg tastes just like another egg
But when it comes to people I know
Some walk fast and some walk slow –
But no-one walks the same ‘cos
CHORUS
Down In The Bathroom
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Lyrics
Down in the bathroom he looks so sad
His friends say, ‘Aw come on cheer up, it’s not that bad’
You’ve had a good life you’ve had your day
But now it’s time to be thrown away
How could they do this, do this to him?
You don’t put your friends in the rubbish bin
He has his feelings, he has his pride
It’s enough to make you break down and cry
CHORUS
He’s a really nice toothbrush (echo)
Luverly toothbrush (echo)
Hard working tooth brush (echo)
Friendly old toothbrush (echo)
So how can you possibly throw him away?
I know he looks shaggy, I know he looks tired
But he can still do the job, he doesn’t need to be fired
He’ll brush off your plaque at the end of a day
So please don’t throw, don’t throw him away
CHORUS
His bristles may be worn, his head may be scarred
But you won’t find another who will work quite so hard
So throw away your toothpaste, try another brand
But don’t discard a friend, he just won’t understand
CHORUS (repeated)
